The best Quotations


as soon as i get through with you, you'll have a clear case of divorce and so will my wife.
- Groucho Marx

A child of five would understand this. send someone to fetch a child of five.
- Groucho Marx

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
- Groucho Marx

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. anyone can get old. all you have to do is live long enough.
- Groucho Marx

Although it is generally known, i think it's about time to announce that i was born at a very early age.
- Groucho Marx

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
- Groucho Marx

Do you think i could buy back my introduction to you?
- Groucho Marx

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
- Groucho Marx

From the moment i picked up your book until i laid it down, i was convulsed with laughter. some day i intend reading it.
- Groucho Marx

From the moment i picked your book up until i laid it down i was convulsed with laughter. some day i intend reading it.
- Groucho Marx

Getting older is no problem. you just have to live long enough.
- Groucho Marx

He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don't let that fool you - he really is an idiot.
- Groucho Marx

I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me.
- Groucho Marx

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
- Groucho Marx

I find television very educating. every time somebody turns on the set, i go into the other room and read a book.
- Groucho Marx

I find television very educational. every time someone switches it on i go into another room and read a good book.
- Groucho Marx

I married your mother because i wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along.
- Groucho Marx

I must confess, i was born at a very early age.
- Groucho Marx

I must say that i find television very educational. the minute somebody turns it on, i go to the library and read a book.
- Groucho Marx

I never forget a face, but in your case i'll be glad to make an exception.
- Groucho Marx

I never forget a face, but in your case i'll make an exception.
- Groucho Marx

I was married by a judge. i should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
- Groucho Marx

I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
- Groucho Marx

I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty.
- Groucho Marx


Do you know the writers of the following quotations?

Quotation You will become as small as your controlling desire; as great as your dominant aspiration. - writer
Quotation When I was a young man I observed that nine out of ten things I did were failures. I didn't want to be a failure, so I did ten times more work. - writer
Quotation Someone who always has to lie discovers that every one of his lies is true. - writer
Quotation Hope is the dream of a waking man. - writer
Quotation A radical is one of whom people say ''He goes too far.'' A conservative, on the other hand, is one who ''doesn't go far enough.'' Then there is the reactionary, ''one who doesn't go at all.'' All these terms are more or less objectionable, wherefore we have - writer
Quotation The best rules to form a young man, are, to talk little, to hear much, to reflect alone upon what has passed in company, to distrust one's own opinions, and value others that deserve it. - writer